28 reasons why you should make your own vegetable burgers

There are many, if not an absurd number of arguments on why you should make your own vegetable burgers, but to really convince you, I’ve come up with 28 laudable reasons to make it yourself. Here goes:

Obvious: It looks like they might be healthy.

Transformational: It literally makes you feel healthier when eating it.

Liar: It tastes better than beef.

Truth: It tastes better than I thought it would

Political: The government wants to socialize veggie burger production and that means fewer American jobs.

Abstract: Be the vegetable.

Total crap: It’s a statement against the industrial food complex that is destroying the foundation of sustainable and ethical agriculture and farming.

A little bit country: I think that’s how the Dixie Chicks lost weight.

Frugal: The only thing cheaper is dancing naked in front of a mirror.

Personal: Everything in this burger I touched with my hands.

Contraceptive: Simply place one between your knees.

Accomplished: Can you believe I made this?

Thoughtful: I made this for you because you need to lose weight.

Environmental: Meat gives you gas and this won’t, um, er, give you as much gas.

Historical: My grandmother’s grandmother had a similar recipe for vegetable burgers only she didn’t use, or know what the hell panko bread crumbs were (back in the day).

Satisfied: Eat three of them.

Competitive: Gwyneth Paltrow has got nothing on these veggie patties.

Religious: OMG, yes, yes, yes, YES!

Hipster: I have a tattoo of this vegetable burger on my inner left thigh because it is cool.

National Enquirer: UFOs caught stealing vegetable burgers from Elvis.

Hip hop: You’d be trippin’ if these burgers weren’t for real. Know what I’m saying?

Clintonian: I did not eat that vegetable burger.

Medicinal: I like to eat veggie burgers after my spliff.

Matrix: So what will it be? The blue pill or the vegetable burger?

Frank from Blue Velvet: Heineken? F#$% that shit. Get me a vegetable burger. I can't stand warm beer. Here’s to Ben.

Voyeur: I have 280 pictures of vegetable burgers on my hard drive.

Comedy: A priest, rabbi and vegetable burger go into a bar…

I’m sure you’re convinced so let’s get to it.

As you gloss over the ingredient list, it may seem like you’re making too much food, but rest assured, you only have to make this one time. It should yield at least 14 to 18 patties, depending on the weight of each burger.

On separate note, it requires a lot of chopping, and this should be performed with a knife. I wouldn’t recommend a food processor. You will also need a food ring mold (I recommend having at least two to speed patty formation). If you don’t have them, you could use tuna fish cans, I guess.

• 2 cups cooked brown rice
• 1 zucchini, finely diced (and by diced I mean 1/8inch)
• 1 carrot, finely diced
• 1 red bell pepper, finely diced
• 2/3 cup of cooked edamame
• ½ cup frozen peas, defrosted
• 2 cups panko bread crumbs, more for dusting
• 1 ear of roasted corn, sliced from the cob
• 1 roasted, seeded and skinned poblano, finely diced or a small can of green chilies
• 2 shallots, minced
• 3 eggs, beaten
• 2 cups grated cheddar cheese
• Salt, pepper
• Curry powder, optional

 

1. Mix all of the ingredients together in a large bowl. For those who love Indian food, you can add a few teaspoons of curry powder here. For those who don’t share my love of madras – and you know who are – simply omit this step.
2.  Test the ‘glue’ factor by grabbing a ball of the mixture between your hands and squeezing it together in a clump. If it sticks, you’re in luck. If it falls apart, add more bread crumbs. Repeat this step until the mixture is forming and holding together. This is critical as it will ensure your burgers don’t fall apart in the cooking stage. 
3. Line up two baking sheets lined with plastic wrap on the bottom of each pan. Set the food rings or tuna fish cans on the baking sheet and sprinkle panko breadcrumbs at the bottom of each ring, enough to lightly coat the bottom of each burger. Fill each ring with about 4 to 5 ounces of the vegetable mixture. I use a scale to keep them all at an even weight. Press the vegetable mixture into the corners of the rings and finish by sprinkling more panko on the top of the burger.
4. Carefully remove the rings and repeat the step until you are sick to your stomach of making burgers.
5. When all of the patties have been formed, I place the trays in the freezer. Once frozen, I individually wrap them in plastic and place them in an airtight freezer bag. My freezer is full of them. Please, someone, take them!

 

 

On cooking:

1. Remove the burgers from the freezer to thaw for at least an hour.
2. Preheat your oven to 300 F.
3. Add two tablespoons of canola or neutral oil to an oven proof skillet.  When the oil is warm, lightly mist your patties with water and add them to the pan.
4. Cook for 2- 3 minutes or until the burger is nicely browned on the bottom. Flip the burgers, turn off the burner and place the skillet in the oven for about 8-10 minutes.
5. The burgers should be heated through and be browned on each side.

 

I just thought of the 28^th reason to make your own vegetable burger.

Payoff: Because all that work must lead to something delicious.

Comments

[Chef Dennis]

these look amazing! I am teaching my girls to make these and they will be going on my menu at school!

[Mary]

Your blog is fantastic! I just ran across it today and have not been able to pull myself away from the computer. And I love that you love Dinosaur Barbeque.

[plumbing]

Totally outstanding and healthy!
With so much to say, Veggie burgers are a new trend today.
I hope we could learn that fast foods are just grease bags with flavor.